Horrified~ January 7th, 2015

What a horrifying world we live in

Yesterday was the usual. Clean, cook, take care of the dogs, but yesterday I started watching things.

I stumbled on this adviseTV media channel on Youtube. The host shows clips about what happens in the world, and then states his opinion. Now what caught my eye about the subject of the video was "HIV positive male knowingly spreads virus to 30 female students on campus and records it". As if THAT wasn't horrifying enough, I clicked on the video in my suggested box: Stephen Fry's HIV and me. 

Here, Stephen Fry explores the virus in Britain, and some parts of Africa(Ghana and another I can't remember). People are dying from the disease and in Africa, safe sex is not encouraged because of religion, and the government does not think this is a problem, so they don't invest in HIV medication, and the little that in donated by Britain and the USA, is distributed on a more first come, first served basis. Which means, the later you are, the faster you'll die. How horrific.

Now, Fry went back to Britain to go speak to some gay men, since they are, statistically, at a higher risk for the virus, about the virus itself. Then I heard the worst possible things, one could ever hear. THE WORST.

HIV negative gay men were seeking out HIV positive men, for some sort of party, where a number of positive men would ejaculate inside the negative man, put an anal plug inside of him to MAKE SURE he became positive. The process was called being "Pozzed up". I couldn't believe it. My breath literally hitched in my throat. 

HIV NEGATIVE GAY MEN WERE PURPOSELY TRYING TO BECOME HIV POSITIVE. I was horrified. Teriffied. Scared. Digusted. Nauseated. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't. There was no way this was happening. So I googled 'pozzed up'. I wanted to know. Was this limited to gay men? Was this a new thing? God I had been thankful at that point that Ben and I both took HIV and STD tests prior to even getting together. 

What I found...SHOOK ME TO MY CORE. There's a website dedicated to "Pozzing up". They call it "the gift" or the "bug". And that the fun of it all, was the "hot and sexy" risk they took. And that it turned them on. And they were looking to infect other people at these "parties":

"Searching for men to poz me up. Hit me up, I'm in Wisconsin."

"Give me the gift of the bug!"

And I kept thinking:

OH GOD. OH GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. 

It's a real thing out there. And you all may be wondering, why post about this? You've heard it all. All the campaigns. All the 'Abstain from Sex' posters in school. But discovering this makes me frightful for my unborn children. What kind of world will they grow up in? A world where being HIV positive and sexually promiscuous is fine?

Don't get me wrong. There are many different scenarios for each HIV positive individual. Born with it, rape,the condom broke, even trusting someone you thought was good, but wasn't. It happens. But people actively seeking out HIV for "thrills" couldn't be more WRONG. 

Please, everyone out there. Before you and your partner decide to, I dunno, "get jiggy"?, please, please please get tested. And if you want throw yourself around town, please, do so safely. It's such a scary and, pardon my french, fucked up world right now that you never know who you're going to encounter, or what decision will completely change your life. 

Peace and blessings.

Love, Janie.